In my experience of reading solo travel forums, and talking
about solo travel with friends and on Twitter, one of the biggest worries about
going away alone seems to be the prospect of eating out alone. This was
something which I was a bit nervous about before my first solo holiday too. I
think most of us associate eating in a restaurant with socialising, so it can
feel strange sitting down and having a meal by yourself. I’ve done this quite a
few times now, both abroad and in the UK, and have even come to enjoy it, so I
thought I would share a few tips from my experiences. I hope you’ll come away from
this post with the feeling that dining solo isn’t so bad after all, and that it
shouldn’t stop you travelling by yourself!
Probably my main tip would be to act confident, even if you
don’t feel it. If you walk in to a restaurant, café or bar like you have every
right to be there alone (which you do), in my experience you’ll find that most
waiting staff will not question it. Spend some time browsing the menus outside
if you haven’t got a specific restaurant in mind, just as you would if you were
out with friends or family. If there are waiting staff standing at the door,
smile and say hello as you’re looking. When you’ve chosen your dining venue, take
a deep breath and simply walk in and ask (in the language of the country you’re
in if possible, for extra confidence) for a table for one (or stroll in and
choose the table you fancy if it’s counter service). I have never had anyone
react unusually to this – they have always shown me to a table and given me a
menu, just as they would for a couple or group. That’s the first hurdle
overcome!
It can be hard not to feel self-conscious when you don’t have
a tablemate to talk to while eating out. The most commonly suggested tip I’ve
seen for this issue is to take something to read (also suggested by the very
knowledgeable Michelle on Twitter during a discussion about this last night),
or to do some writing, and I would agree with this – this is a really good way
of feeling less self-conscious. It can also help to deter unwanted attention as
it suggests you are busy – I always take my ereader or a print book with me
when eating or drinking solo, even if I’m not intending to read, for this very
reason. In Spain I often read through my Spanish phrase book when waiting for
food to arrive – lots of my (albeit basic) Spanish has been learnt in
restaurants and beach bars!
Another idea which works for me is trying to get a table by
the window, for the view (also suggested by Michelle), so I’ve got something to
look at or can do some people-watching. I actually do this more than reading my
book I think. In Spain there were lots of restaurants on the paseo (boardwalk),
looking out at the beach and the sea, so this was easy – and pretty too.
Outside tables are good for this as well.
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| One of the downsides of solo dining is that often restaurants will only prepare specialist dishes for a minimum of two people; I had to hunt for a restaurant in La Carihuela, Torremolinos who would make me this yummy seafood paella, but I found a couple in the end. |
If you think you’re going to feel self-conscious when eating
out, then you probably don’t want to be in an empty restaurant – so it’s a good
idea to find out what kind of times people eat their meals in the area you’re
going to. In La Carihuela, for example, the restaurants would be empty before
about 1.30pm for lunch and about 8pm for dinner. On my first day there I
quickly realised I would rather adjust my mealtimes than be the only one there!
A way round this could be to eat in a café or bar instead, where custom is less
centred around meals.
Try eating out in different types of venues, to see which
works best for you. Some people prefer eating in bars, where it’s less formal
and you often pay at the counter rather than being waited on. Personally I am
happy eating in bars, cafes and restaurants, depending on where I am. I
sometimes feel happier in a restaurant because I feel that it’s less likely I’ll
have to deal with unwanted attention, as people are sitting at tables rather
than walking around the place, and the waiters are there to keep an eye on
things. However please don’t let me put you off going to bars by yourself – in the
UK I’ve had a drink and sometimes some food in loads of pubs by myself, and in
Spain I had a drink in one of the beach bars most nights, without getting any
hassle or unpleasant questioning (one night a British family did ask I was OK
by myself – I said yes and we ended up chatting, but they would have left me
alone if I’d not wanted to chat). In Spain I made sure I knew the Spanish for “I’m
busy” and “leave me alone please”, just in case I needed them (I didn’t). Don’t
feel that you have to put up with harassment just because you’re on your own!
I recently went out for dinner by myself at my local café-bar,
and got talking to the bartender, who said she also liked dining solo. She
pointed out that often restaurants will suspect that a solo diner is a mystery
shopper, and gave me some tips for posing as one; ask for a receipt and always
ask to see the dessert menu! I’ve not tried the asking for a receipt bit yet,
but when I went out for dinner last weekend I decided to tap away busily while
catching up with Twitter on my smartphone before and after my food, in the hope
that it might look like I was a mystery diner or food critic taking notes –
also giving me something to do to avoid that self-consciousness!
I’ve always had positive experiences eating out alone, but I
know that this is not always the case; recently a friend experienced a nasty
attitude from a restaurant when booking a table for one. They obviously decided
to take their custom elsewhere, and you should do the same if this happens to
you. You’re a paying customer who has every right to be there, and it’s their
loss if they decide a solo diner is someone to be mocked or turned down. Don’t be
afraid to turn around and walk back out of the door, and find somewhere else.
Finally – try to enjoy it! I absolutely love food and for me
dining out is a treat, whether alone or with friends or family. I choose
whatever I fancy, I have a glass of wine, and I enjoy my meal. I also love that
I can have a dessert and/or a starter without worrying about the people I’m
with thinking I’m greedy!
I hope this post might have helped a little bit, if you’re
thinking about travelling solo but worried about the dining part. Is there
anything else that worries you about eating out that I haven’t covered? Or do
you have any tips on dining solo? – I’d love to hear them.
Happy dining!
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| Cafe semi-largo and a piece of tarta malaguena in Cafe Central, Malaga, Spain |
